Paradise

This was Tony's favourite Coldplay song.. It was also the song that kept repeating in my head all night i tried to sleep before i got the news that he had died..

I miss you so much my teddybear.. taking it one day at a time because that is all i can do for now.
I feel so hopeless right now.. wish i could just feel normal but i can't. No matter how much i want to be normal i can't. You can't force yourself to be fine no matter how much you want it.

Don't know at all what my future holds for me anymore.. Everytime i try to make something of myself i fail somehow.. tried to get a job but no one seems to even want to take me in for an interview.. Applied for music school but apparently wasn't quite good enough at singing to get in.. Read up my math grades and applied for university but not even that was enough.. After i failed that too you were the only thing i had to look forward to.. You were gonna move here ones you got a job, and knowing you you'd prolly have gotten one.. I was looking forward to living with you adn getting to see you everyday..
You were the only thing i saw in my future.. now i am stuck in the same place with nothing that i can see ahead of me.
Sure i know some day it will change, it must.
Right now i have nothing to race towards.. nothing to even walk to.. so i stay in the place.
Right now my future is completely unknown to me..

So for now i am stuck.. right here.. alone..
All i can do is take it one day at a time and keep breathing.

Ljubim te medvedek..