Today my biggest achievement was to get out of bed.. managed to get up 3pm.
I have been sleeping because of the sleeping pill but the night has felt long..
Various dreams gas been going on all night. Some from too much Guildwars 2 and others because i feel asleep thinking of holding Tonys hand and laying my cheek on his back... Miss him so much.
I was dreaming about his friend and family and i think a little about him too but i can't remember my dreams anymore.
I just didn't want to get out of bed today, i wanted to sleep and just not excist in this world for a while, this world that doesen't have him in it anymore. I miss him so terribly today.
The song i listen to first everyday is River by LIGHTS, it's not sad but at the same time not too happy. Just feels fitting for my life right now.
I was writing a poem last night but the insperation ran away and it started to feel cheesy and grosse so i stopped. I saved it in a draft so maybe some day i can finnish it.
Today i could really need to do some laundry and i was thinking about taht before i went to bed last nigth but now im just out of energy.. maybe i can manage a load if i try..
This days breakfast wasn't the healthiest either.. I had one cup of chocolate pudding, but i don't think it matters much since my mum comes home from work after 4pm anyways, one hour of living on some pudding isn't that bad.
You are strong when you can break down and still be able to get up and keep going.
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